This Day in History

“I have also to announce to the House that during the night and the early hours of this morning the first of the series of landings in force upon the European Continent has taken place. In this case the liberating assault fell upon the coast of France. An immense armada of upwards of 4,000 ships, together with several thousand smaller craft, crossed the Channel.”  Winston Churchill June 6, 1944

Today is not only the anniversary of D-Day, it is also National Doughnut Day. The two are closer linked than you would imagine, and not just because they both start with “D”. While D-Day is and always will be June 6, Doughnut Day is the first Friday in June. According to that source, doughnuts were invented in 1917 by the Salvation Army during WWI, which was supposed to be The Great War before all that funny business transpired in Germany. If the adage about Salvation Army inventing doughnuts is true, they should market that everywhere. It should be their byline: “Donate to The Salvation Army. We Invented Doughnuts.”

You might have seen where I’m going with this but there is something else in my life that begins with “D”. You might have even heard of him before, his name is Delton. He’s a baby. Is that ringing a bell?

So, Big Baby D had his first school injury last week. It never really turned into a bruise. The funniest part about it was the teachers note: “Delton was sitting on the floor and went to grab for a toy and fell on his face.” How many of you have had to deal with the same predicament?

 You can see it a little better here but he has his eyes closed

 I’m just telling you that it looked worse in real life.

 

And that is the summation of all the new pictures I have. I just don’t have as many changes to document of the baby every week like I used to and I also don’t take 450 pictures a day as before either.

So, in order to make up for that, I thought I would share something I found called failblog. It is pretty self explanatory but here goes:

 

This needs no explanation at all.

Here we have a seemingly happy couple on Spring Break, or Summer Beach trip. But, hey, what is that in the corner? Guy with a broomstick duct taped to his body, that’s not something you see every day. My question though is how did he get his sunglasses on. And why is he so casually walking back to his hotel as though it’s completely normal to have a broomstick duct taped to your body?

A new generation of kids that will be completely terrified of clowns. That’s always nice.

This needs no explanation at all. And what a hilarious photo it is!

 

For clarity, that is Mike Tyson, former World Heavyweight Champ and international psychopath. One of Iron Mike’s more famous quotes, in speaking about an opponent, “I’m going to eat his children.” I’m sure the dad in this photo thought that would be hilarious to show to his friends. Although, honestly, this has to be the kid’s “fun” uncle or not-quite-right cousin. As a Dad with a sense of humor, I’m not even dumb enough to think getting a convicted felon to pretend to eat my child would be funny. Dunking a kid’s head under water,  however? That’s Hilarious!!

A new take on the ages old “forgot to replace the gas cap” genre.

I think this one might be my favorite. At first glance, our only white compadre in the photo looks to be a photoshop job but I’ve studied this intently and determined the photo is legitimate. It might be because I recognize that same idiotic grin from group photos that I’ve personally submarined. No, that couldn’t possibly be why…….

 

 

 

 

And now, since I didn’t really have any photos of my own to share, how about a real special version of Delton Force Photo Frenzy – The Fail! Edition

 Those with young children like D-Money are well aware of the difficulties of obtaining a good photo where they are smiling and not spitting everywhere. The beauty of digital photography is that you can take all the pictures you want and discard the bad ones.

However, my pack rat proclivities prohibit that from happening, so………
The Conroe High School English teacher Posse would be so proud of the alliteration and onomatopoeia in that sentence. Yeah, I used alliteration and onomatopoeia in a sentence, deal with it! 

 Two cousins in a bathtub, or Bigfoot and The Lochness Monster ballroom dancing? The evidence is inconclusive but I can definitely make out Bigfoot and it kind of does look like Nessie, doesn’t it?

 Not exactly fail but the ability to capture the split second where Delton looks like he is all looped up on NyQuil is kind of funny.

 Here Mister D is in full NyQuil mode. Also known as, “He’s on that sizzyrup!”

 Just thought everyone would like to see how bad my photo taking skills are. The lesson here is that even when it says, “Point N Shoot”, they are lying.

 Some more keyboard slaphappiness.  He just can’t beat the keyboard enough. It produces a satisfying smacking sound.

 I edited this one out of a larger photo just for you. It’s from when I tried out for a zombie movie. I didn’t get a callback.

 Have A Good Weekend, Chimps!!!!!